Why?

Women were given an incredible gift from God, a gift unique to our gender. It is powerful, gives joy, and heals.

This gift is beauty.

Beauty is possibly one of the most powerful things in the world, after love – if it can even be separated from love. In fact, life isn’t worth living without beauty. Think of nature: the sea, mountains, blue skies and starry nights, flower fields and tropical islands. Or art: music, dance, paintings, poetry. And yet, even more than these things, women are God’s cherry on top – his finishing touch, his aesthetic masterpiece, the most beautiful creation in the world. Beautiful women are such a powerful motivator that countless times in history, and in stories the world over, men have risked their lives to win or rescue beautiful damsels. Beautiful women are an even more powerful motivator for men than honor, prestige, acclaim, or money – and no, it is not just because men want sex. Also, a man truly in love would give up everything in the world for his woman.

And beauty affects not just men, but all people. When a woman embraces her beauty – and remember, true beauty combines a pure, loving heart with a feminine, comely appearance – her mere presence is a light to those around her. She will bring chivalry out in men, maturity and goodness out in children (in the form of respect), and hope and inspiration in other women. Her beauty can also help those in pain: think, for example, of the story of the wounded soldier who asked a nurse simply to apply lipstick in front of him, because the feminine beauty of this act made him peaceful.

The truth is, our beauty is not just a gift to us, or even our man – it is a gift to the world, and it is our RESPONSIBILITY to share this gift.

So, when a woman adopts an unattractive look, she makes herself a less influential person, is treated with less respect and sensitivity, and deprives herself and others of the joy that comes with reveling in her unique beauty.

Of course, outward beauty – a well-groomed, extremely feminine, pretty appearance – is NOTHING without a good character to go with it. However, sometimes you can work on yourself from the outside in. So if you know you need to improve your character – maybe you’re crass, a tom-boy, depressed, or something else unpleasant – try to look externally beautiful, even if you know it doesn’t 100% reflect who you are right now. Dress the way your IDEAL SELF would dress. You’ll slowly start to become that person because people will start perceiving and treating you as that person.

Another excuse many women use to not dress beautifully is to say that they were born too unattractive for beautiful attire and grooming to make much difference. How sad to live life as a woman and believe nothing you do will make you look or feel beautiful. Women were MADE to feel beautiful; this is our natural, ideal state of being. Some of the most awful times in my life have been when I felt extremely unattractive and undesirable, and I doubt I’m alone. This feeling is equivalent to, on the other end of the spectrum, a man feeling like a weak, incompetent failure.

The thing is, most of us NEVER WILL look as good as the women we see on magazine covers. Which means that if we want to view ourselves, and have others view us, as beautiful, we have to have the courage to REDEFINE beauty.

So look at yourself in the mirror, embrace who you are even if you and everyone else knows you aren’t a “classic beauty,” and show the world you don’t care. Show that you think you’re beautiful in your own way, and trust me: people will respect you MORE. Because not only will they see the beauty you see in yourself, but also your courage to defy cultural definitions of beauty and set your own. It always makes me so, so happy to see women who don’t fit the classic “beauty” ideal strutting their stuff in beautiful, feminine clothing. The curvy, full-figured woman whose feminine clothes fit her well and show off a feature she obviously loves, such as her cleavage; the flat-chested woman who wears a bikini with absolute confidence; the woman with braces who sports huge, happy smiles for photos; the older woman whose stylish clothes reflect her sass and love for life.

Effort is also a huge matter in beauty, and is sometimes all that’s required to look and feel more beautiful than we ever thought we could. My fiance finds me so beautiful – the reality is, I work HARD to be beautiful for him! I wasn’t born a model, and my face is pretty plain (to me, anyway:P). But I put time into building a wardrobe full of pretty, feminine clothes I feel good in, time into doing my hair and at least a little bit of makeup almost daily. Sometimes I don’t feel like it, but I think of these things as essential now as I do brushing and flossing my teeth. So please, don’t believe you could never look beautiful, that the time and effort would be pointless. Most women are not so unattractive that effort can’t make them beautiful to at least some men. And many women that you think are extremely gorgeous, or at least prettier than you, may not necessarily be. Just search “make-up-free celebrities,” for one. And really, makeup and a nice wardrobe can go SO FAR in influencing how beautiful a person perceives you – I’ve been told I’m prettier than someone I KNOW is actually genetically prettier than me, but because I put more effort into my appearance than that person, I was perceived as prettier.

And because I work to be as pretty as I can, it upsets me when women feel disdain towards other women for being “prettier” than them. I could easily be unattractive if I let myself go; in fact, I’d even say about 50% of my beauty comes from effort. If I let myself go – wore baggy clothes, hardly bothered with my hair, never wore makeup – people wouldn’t look twice at me. Trust me, I’ve been there. But, like all things in life, the best things don’t come easily. I’m proud of how far I’ve come: from a frizzy-haired, sad-looking, oversized sweater-wearing teen with no self esteem, to a stylish, feminine, happily-engaged woman with much more confidence. It didn’t just HAPPEN, it took years of effort.

So ladies, please: care about and take great pride in your appearance. Wear flattering clothing that shows off your beautiful, feminine curves. Wear beautiful colors, feminine articles like dresses, pretty shoes, jewelry. Always look appropriate and never degrade yourself or our gender by revealing too much skin, getting excessive tattoos or piercings, or adopting a strange, distasteful look.

Your beauty MATTERS. It affects others’ moods, the way you are perceived and treated, and the way you feel about yourself. So dig deep, to not only find your inner beauty, but turn it into outer beauty.

What do you think?

Hope this helps!
Love,
Masaleen

Related posts:

1. The Reality Of External Beauty

So, my journey towards understanding femininity started a long time ago…I think I read Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge when I was 18 or so. After that, Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy. These books introduced me to the concept that femininity is even something TO strive to understand, attain. I mean, in our self-help culture, no one EVER tells you happiness is largely attained by connecting to the essence of your sex. Anyway, I also started reading Fascinating Womanhood long ago, and although I liked what I was reading, I only got through about a quarter of it before forgetting it completely.

I started rereading it perhaps a year ago, not even, and this time it really, really connected. Maybe it’s because I was getting older, and feeling more ready for a serious relationship. Or at least, to start preparing myself mentally, emotionally… Although, I really planned on being in a serious relationship in two or three years, not anytime soon. But life happens when you’ve made other plans…

So I started reading FW consistently, and I felt so motivated to change! No other self-help book not only inspired me, but gave SUCH concrete steps for me to take to change.

Now, honestly, I didn’t have an obvious transformation. Far from it. But amazingly, during this process, I met this guy. At first, there was no obvious chemistry; no spark, no love at first sight. Although there was always a very obvious comfort factor between us. Over time, hanging out with mutual friends, we both realized we loved each other’s company! And by the time I left (I was only staying in his city temporarily), we were extremely close…you could say we were in love, although we weren’t dating, and there was no intimacy or even touching between us. We missed each other so much!

It was a little after I left that he realized that for him, I was the “one”. One thing about this guy, when he knows what he wants, he WANTS it, and he never lets go of trying to get it! For example, he’s training to be in the Marines now, which is, as he says, “the most elite fighting force in human history.” And trust me, getting into the Marines is probably one of the most challenging undertakings possible. But it’s been his dream since he was young, and even though as I write this his body is bruised and beaten up from a weekend training program, he is more determined than ever to make it, whatever it takes. (How manly is that???XD)

Anyway…so in everything he said, I could tell he was wooing me! I won’t say details, in case something embarrasses him, but let’s just say…without being sexually suggestive, or blunt in his feelings for me, he won my heart. He won it through sharing about himself – his accomplishments, his goals, his values. He won it through his kindness and sensitivity toward me, his concerned desire to make it up to me when he’d hurt me or made me mad, his love for his family, and his family’s love for him. He won it through his patience for me – everything he ever said or did was within the boundaries of our relationship “zone”, even though he was so crazy about me and wanted to share everything, all his thoughts, feelings. He never rushed me.

Anyway, although it took only a short time for us to become engaged (eight months from the time I met him), I really feel God planned this. Well, I don’t believe in predestination (where God has everything figured out and we have no control), but I do believe God gives us people and situations that will allow us true, deep happiness, if we can see it and follow our hearts. Actually, it was my fiance who said something like this…he’s very wise too, for his age, I think.

Also, and this is a really big issue with me: both my fiance and I are abstinent. From a young age we determined to keep our purity for our one and only future significant other, and although I know some may think this “uncool” or “prudish” or whatever, I think it’s really romantic. Yeah, it was REALLY hard sometimes keeping my purity, but now I’m in a relationship with a guy I saved my beautiful gift for, and who SAVED HIMSELF FOR ME…how do you think that makes me feel??? LUCKY!!!XD And, because there was nothing sexual between us before our engagement, we know absolutely that our love for each other is not based on lust (although I’m very attracted to him;). And when we get married…well, our love will go to another level, let’s just say that;))

I’m really not condemning women who aren’t virgins, though. But I really do feel that purity is getting a bad rap, when it’s actually a key element in true trust and the most sacred, beautiful kind of romance. If you’re still a virgin – or even if you’re not a virgin, please…be strong and don’t give in to a guy until he pops you the question. And then until you actually tie the knot. Please! How else will you know a guy really, truly cares about you? If you are intimate before marriage, there is a chance he’ll propose to you (assuming you want marriage), like they always do in movies, but…if they’re getting sex from you freely, most guys won’t tie themselves down with marriage! Because they just don’t HAVE to to get what THEY want from a relationship! Honestly, ladies, marriage is very beneficial to WOMEN. I think men are more easily happy in commitment-free relationships, but women, deep in their hearts, need a mature man to promise commitment to her in order for her to feel truly safe and happy in a relationship. That’s what I believe. That’s what’s true for me, at least. I would never, EVER in a million years give my body to a guy who didn’t commit himself to me, no matter how sexy, charming, or whatever he is. Because it’s just TOO EASY for him to leave whenever he wants, with no strings attached…and that’s so stressful to me. It’s easier to not TRY AS HARD in a commitment-free relationship. A guy who wants to marry is basically saying, “I KNOW that sometimes it’ll be REALLY HARD to stay with you, but because a deeper part of me loves you so much, I want to bind us together forever. Even if I sometimes forget how much I love you, this commitment will remind me, and make it hard for me to just leave when the going gets tough.”

Anyway, so maybe sometime I’ll talk about me, and things I did, that I think contributed to my man falling in love with me, to help you out. Keep in mind that I did nothing manipulative, only tapped into my latent feminine powers! That, combined with my unique personality. And I would never have wanted so much to tap into my feminine powers if I hadn’t met such a masculine, mature, incredible guy…so really, tons of credit goes to him;p

*****

Also, here’s a really cute article I found! It’s called 11 animals that mate for life. To think, some animals are better at this than humans…

Currently Reading: Bad Childhood, Good Life (Dr. Laura Schlessinger)

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