celebrity
The Reality Of External Beauty
[The gorgeous women in this post's corresponding banner - Britney Spears, Rihanna, Jennifer Aniston, and Halle Berry - have all either been dumped, cheated on, divorced, and/or physically abused.]
Recently, Yahoo! shared an article called, Why Beauties Get Cheated On Big Time! To be honest, I was glad to see this. Why? Not because, out of jealousy, thinking about the pain of these women gives me sick pleasure. They’re real women with real feelings. No…it’s because we live in a culture that usually tells women, “If you looked this good, you’d be HAPPY! Every man would want you, and you’d get the guy of your dreams and he’d never leave!”
But the truth is, just being beautiful obviously does not guarantee keeping a man.
If all you want is to GET a man, great! But I can’t guarantee you’ll get a good man, and I can almost guarantee you won’t KEEP any man.
Ladies, is: STOP OBSESSING about being beautiful! Because EVEN IF YOU CAN BECOME AS BEAUTIFUL AS A CELEBRITY, YOU ARE NOT GUARANTEED WHAT YOU’RE REALLY SEEKING: A LOVING, LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
There are much, much more effective steps you can take to basically guarantee you’ll get and keep an amazing man, and none fall under the category of “looking perfect.” Looking pretty is part of it, yes, but not looking “celebrity perfect”, if you know what I mean.
Ladies! Do you think gorgeous female celebrities have the best romantic lives?? Time and time again, we’ve heard about celebrities hooking up, breaking up, hooking up again, and breaking up again…ladies, this is NOT romantic. This is painful. This is sad. I know some of you look up to these women – they’re smart, successful, strong, sassy, sexy, desirable to men…but when it comes to love, they really don’t know much more than you. Maybe less. When it comes to true love, theirs is NOT the footsteps to follow in, unless you want your life to be filled with as much insecurity, short, shallow relationships, and painful breakups as theirs are.
Maybe I’m not being fair by clumping all female celebrities into one, as if they all act the same and have the same problems. Some are worth looking up to. Like:
Jada Pinkett Smith: Married to Will Smith for 11 years
Faith Hill: Married to Tim McGraw for 13 years
Michelle Pfeiffer: Married to David E. Kelley for 15 years
Joanne Woodward: Married to Paul Newman for 50 years!!
But honestly, the famous women many ladies, especially young women, want to be like, and especially want to LOOK like, are the extremely provocative women like Gisele Bundchen, Rihanna, Jennifer Lopez, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Kim Kardashian, Meagan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, etc.
And yet, a lot of these women are getting dumped over and over again, marrying and divorcing, even getting physically abused. Some are/were anorexic, bulimic, alchoholic, etc. Realistically, these women go through as much pain in love and life as you and me, maybe even MORE, even though/because they’re so beautiful. To be happy in the realm of romantic love, you need to LEARN about love, about the psychology and basic, differing needs of men and women. And really cultivate a beautiful CHARACTER, which is something that will last, unlike a young, hot body. And even the beautiful women who seem to be in a happy relationship now (Angelina Jolie, Gisele Gundchen), who knows what will happen in one, five, ten years? The record of Hollywood couples staying together is EXTREMELY slim. Some you think will stay together, but suddenly it’s over! Reese Witherspoon and Sandra Bullock got cheated on (I think for these two it’s mostly because they picked the WRONG guys, but it is also possible that even though they were good women, they didn’t understand enough the feminine art of love, seduction, and charm, or about men), JLO was married for 8 months, Renee Zellweger for 4 months, Drew Barrymore 30 days. Elizabeth Taylor has been married 8 times, and she’s sometimes considered one of the most beautiful women of all time. Marilyn Monroe married 3 times; her death was most likely suicide, at the age of 36 when she was STILL YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL. Princess Diana was SO BEAUTIFUL….but Prince Charles didn’t even love her.
Yes, this is all sad, but it makes you think twice about the value of external beauty. So if you think being incredibly beautiful will make you happy, and you’re extremely focused on it…what does it mean?
First of all, it means you’re brainwashed. You’ve let media define for you what’s important, what will make you happy, without taking a closer look at reality.
Second, it probably means you’re not ready for a REAL relationship. You’re ready to have steamy sex with hot guys who will boost your ego, but you’re not ready for real heart-connection.
Third, it means you’re scared. You’re scared of responsibility. You’re scared of hard work. You’re scared of changing. Because what’s ACTUALLY harder? Working out, putting on makeup, and donning a sexy dress and heels – OR looking inside of yourself, facing your character flaws and childhood fears, and taking steps to become a new human being, a person of real depth and character?
If you want to be externally beautiful, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s natural and healthy for a woman to want to look beautiful! But, DON’T BECOME OBSESSED WITH LOOKING LIKE A CELEBRITY. Focus, instead, on having a unique, loving personality, and on being a wholesome, healthy beautiful. The latter meaning, don’t undereat (being so skinny that you can’t even get your period…how unfeminine and sickly is that??), don’t overeat, stay flexible, strong, and alert, don’t do ANY kind of plastic surgery and the like EVER, and if you want a tan, go in the SUN, not to fake tanning beds (I personally don’t believe the sun is bad for you, even though doctors have recently been drilling into everyone how dangerous and cancer-causing it is – God CREATED the sun, it’s not evil; plus, it gives you vitamin D; but this is my opinion). Guys love to ogle curvy, lean, busty, beautiful, and yes, even “fake beautiful” women (forgive them, it’s in their biological makeup to at least NOTICE these women), and maybe want to sleep with them, but never do they want to marry her if that’s all she can offer (unless he’s a dummy, and anyway it won’t last long, will it?). And the best guys don’t even want to sleep with her because the best guys have standards. Like waiting for a real, lovely, healthy (in every way) girl he can commit his whole heart and life to. So which girl do you want to be?
Before I conclude, I need to add that being drop-dead gorgeous does NOT mean you CAN’T have a beautiful, sincere, deep love life! There are thousands of beautiful women who could be or are models, but who are also very down-to-earth, humble, genuine, and kind. So this post is in no way about putting down beautiful women, or about saying they’re all shallow types with an inability to develop true, lasting love. The women I’ve mentioned here aren’t necessarily this way. This post is only about proving that external beauty ALONE absolutely cannot guarantee winning and keeping a good man, and that for true romantic happiness there are more important things to focus on.
I hope this helps!
Love,
Masaleen
P.S.: There is an entertaining show out now called True Beauty, where runway-worthy contestants think they’re being judged to see who will become the “Face of Vegas,” but actually they’re being judged for their INNER beauty. Clever, huh?;)
*****
Currently reading: The Act of Marriage (Tim & Beverly LaHaye)
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